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Feeling Under Your Skin

by Robert Hardey

Dr. Lang is going to try his procedure for the sixth time. In 2018 he discovered he could literally get into another person’s skin and feel how that person feels. Amazing? Yes. With many experiments he discovered he was able to transplant another person’s cells into his body and for one day the other person’s feelings and thoughts took over. The reason it only works for one day is the cells usually reject Dr. Lang’s body and start to die.

Today is the first time Dr. Lang is going to test out how a serial killer thinks and feels. Dr. Lang is ecstatic yet nervous. Dr. Lang is in his lab and ready to scrape the cells from convicted killer Jeffery Dahmer.

Jeffery Dahmer killed many boys and men in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. First he would meet them at bars. He would talk to the young men and ask them to come back to his apartment. When at his apartment he would put a drug in the man’s drink. He would perform a type of a lobotomy on the man. Once the man died, Jeffery Dahmer would have sex with the corpse. Usually the following day, Jeffery would cut up the man and put him in his freezer. When police raided his apartment they found multiple heads in his freezer and body parts in his refrigerator. Police also found body parts in chili in the refrigerator. Mr. Dahmer would always use the body parts to make food and eat them. Disgusting to say the least.

On this day, March 15, 2020, Dr. Lang is going to transplant the cells of J. Dahmer to feel what went on inside his mind and how he felt. Jeffery’s body was kept frozen by doctors and scientists in case this day would ever come.

Dr. Lang heads to the operating room where he is to meet several other doctors who will perform the transplant.

“All set for the big day?!” Dr. LaRouse asks with a grin on his face.

“I’ve been waiting all of my adult life for this.” Dr. Lang proudly states.

The surgeons scrub up and Dr. Lang is put on the surgical table. He is given anesthesia and is out cold.

The transplant goes smoothly. Dr. Lang is put into a recovery room.

A few hours later Dr. Lang groggily awakens. He has cotton mouth and reaches over for the ice on the tray at the side of his bed. He puts one piece of cold ice in his mouth. He has a funny taste in his mouth like he never felt before.

Dr. Lang is overcome with a feeling he cannot describe. He feels very depressed, a sense of anxiety, irritated and very, very alone. He wants to crawl in a dark cave and just stare at the wall. His stomach starts to rumble. He is hungry but nothing at all sounds good to eat. Five minutes later, liver and onions take over his thoughts. Yes, that is what he wants with extra black pepper and doused with ketchup. He can smell the liver and onions frying now.

Dr. Lang slips back under. He has vivid dreams of men. His conscience is battling with him that he is not gay. He dreams he is eating a man’s liver. He cannot get over the texture and flavor of the liver. He must have a piece.

Dr. Lang starts to sleep walk throughout the hospital. A nurse sees him within one minute and brings him back to his room. He tries to push the nurse and she calls for help to get the doctor back in bed. She quietly tells him in a few hours he will be released.

Out of breath and still drowsy, Dr. Lang gives up and lays back down in bed. He turns on the television with the remote and starts to watch CNN. His mind wanders to men again. He gets angry and frustrated as to what is happening. Then he remembers he is feeling what Jeffery is feeling. He lets his mind explore.

He imagines himself looking at men at a strip club. His mouth starts to literally water. The thought gags the doctor but he again reminds himself this is a scientific experiment. He thinks of asking one of the men back to his apartment. An overwhelming feeling of excitement takes over. His heart is speeding up. It reminds him of the feeling he would get as a young boy the night before Santa came. The doctor shakes his head in disgust. His teeth start to literally itch and he grinds them together. His fists clench. His toes curl under. He claws at his own chest.

He imagines being back at his apartment which is Jeffery’s. He is in his white living room with the man he brought home. He inhales an odd smell and looks over to the man. Apparently the man is now dead. This arouses the doctor. He will not let himself fantasize anymore even if this is a scientific experiment. He focuses back to the hospital.

“Dr. Lang, how are you doing?” the nurse politely asks.

The doctor lets out a big sigh, “Okay. I cannot wait to get out of this room and for tomorrow to come.”

“It will be soon enough, doctor. In one more hour you will be released from the hospital.”

“Can you make tomorrow come quick, too?” he practically begs the nurse.

“If I could, I would! I leave for a tropical vacation tomorrow” the cute nurse exclaims and crinkles up her little nose.

The nurse asks if the doctor is hungry. He is but not for hospital food. He says he will eat when he gets home. The nurse exits his room.

The doctor looks out his hospital room window. He has a roof view. A few pigeons are on the roof pecking at some food. The doctor wishes he was free. He wants to be back to himself. The urge for human flesh is astounding to him. He grabs a notebook and starts to write:

March 15, 2020
Dr. Lang

(All of the above feelings are jotted down quickly.) He adds:

I have this extreme appetite for liver and onions. It is like no other feeling I have felt before. My heart is beating too fast. My teeth keep grinding. I feel so alone. I want to be with a man. He jots down in parenthesis (I am a straight happily married man with two children yet I have the overwhelming feeling to be with a man.)

He wants a young man. He daydreams going into a bar. He sees a small built man. Maybe he is still a boy. He saunters over to talk to the young boy/man. He has a petite frame. He looks like he has soft Asian skin. He thinks he will taste good. The doctor’s eyebrows wince. Tender liver. Tender brains. The boy/man is friendly and appears wasted. The doctor asks the boy/man if he wants to come back to his apartment. The young man happily accepts. The young man tells him he thinks the doctor is handsome. The doctor realizes he is getting aroused under his hospital sheets. This time Dr. Lang tries to stay focused on the fantasy to get deep into the feelings and thoughts of his serial killer.

The Asian man and doctor walk hand in hand to the doctor’s apartment. The doctor opens the door to his apartment. The Asian man is let in first. The doctor thinks of making a drink and putting a drug in the drink to make the man fall asleep. He wants to slice into the Asian man’s brain. Make him half there. Make him do whatever he wants. He has the feeling of control. He likes this feeling of grandeur instead of his usual depressed, anxiety ridden and unbearably alone feeling. Power. Got to have power. A smile comes over the doctor’s face while he is in this trance.

The doctor’s breathing gets faster along with his heart. He cannot take the excitement. He needs to kill. He needs to let this feeling go so he can calm down. The doctor does not realize it, but he is taking his pen and stabbing the hospital mattress. He accidentally stabs his own finger.

He sees blood drip out of the man’s skull. He takes his index finger and puts it on the hole in the young man’s head. He looks at the blood that is on his index finger and licks his finger. He closes his eyes. The blood has a calming effect on him. It is so good he needs more. Next he does the unthinkable and kills the young boy. He proceeds to find a saw, sharp knives and other items to cut up his kill. He does not even put the parts in bags until after he fries up the liver with some onions, extra pepper and blood-like ketchup. The intoxicating smell makes him giddy. He imagines he is eating the flesh food.

The doctor grabs his notebook again and writes why Jeffery was a serial killer: Conclusion of experiment: I did not feel alone for a few weeks. He ate the body parts to keep the person close to him forever.

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